In early May, the Moz 11s got a text message from the Maputo brass that read:

“Hi Moz 11. I can’t believe it’s time to talk about this, but… We are currently taking requests for early COS [Close of Service] dates. There are a total of 15 slots for November dates. If you would like one of these slots, please let me know asap. You can also set dates for December. Thanks!”

Cue the stress.

I got this text while I was pulling up to a primary school to have a session with a youth group in Chitlango (Bilene District). As soon as I read it, I went into a quasi-catatonic state.

Why are they taking requests so early?

Did this go out to everyone?

Do I want to leave in November?

How many spots are already taken?

Why THE HELL are they taking requests so early?

As these questions were racing through my head, I was getting texts from other volunteers asking me if I received the same text that they received. It was a big moment for us, and we were totally caught off guard.

Thinking quickly and talking it over with fellow PCVs, I made the decision to ask for a late-November COS date. I sent in the text and got my name on the list.

Since then, the system has undergone some changes. The process has been quite a freak out not only for the volunteers but for the staff. We will find out our dates at some point, but the point of this little story is that we really don’t have a lot of time left in Mozambique, at least as PCVs. I apologize for not having posted anything recently. I really haven’t had much to talk about except thinking about the future. The JOMA post kind of got lost in the midst of other things and effectively got tabled until further notice.

The chatter as of late (besides how bad McCain is going to get his tub thumped by Obama come November) has focused on reaching the last quarter of our two years at site. All of the COS talk has riled us up. For some of the Moz 11s it’s a big milestone, for others it’s business as usual. I’m somewhere in the muddled middle; I am excited to have come this far but don’t feel like doing “Ickey Shuffle” in the endzone quite yet. A lot of the time it does not feel like I have been in this country almost 20 months. Then I get to work and we look at our schedule for the upcoming few months and I say “holy crap, that has been on our list of things to get done since early mid 2007”. For instance, we have yet to integrate members of our youth groups into the community HIZV support groups (Don’t even get me started on “why?”). That’s when I say “damn, it’s time to go home.”

I love where I am right now, but every so often I get extremely excited about getting back to the States. Now that my Mom is a lock for a visit in late July-August, I have been really missing seeing friends and family. A lot of volunteers are either getting visitors right now or planning trips for friends and family, so I think there is a popular feeling of what is known is Portuguese as “saudades”, which can be defined as longing or homesickness or having a fondness for something, depending on the context. Simply put, eu tenho saudades for you folks back home.

I may have said this a few (dozen) times before, but every day I wake up feeling different about my presence in Mozambique. Now, instead of “What the hell am I doing here?” I sometimes replace that question with “What the hell am I going to do AFTER this?” It can honestly be stressful. I have been doing a lot of trips to the field lately (which I love) which means a lot of time in the car to think about things. Good luck writing a word while bouncing along on the road to Mandlakaze. I usually end up reflecting about my time here and what I can possibly do with myself when I return to the States. Here’s what I have come with so far:

1. I like the kind of work I am doing here, and I would not mind continuing to work in the public health field. Monitoring and Evaluation has become increasingly interesting, though I haven’t even scratched the surface in terms of learning how to develop tools and strategies for M&E. What I enjoy is the process that goes along with M&E, and I think that his would be a good place to start in whatever job I get following PC.

2. I would like to spend a bit of time in the States, preferably outside of Florida. I have lived in Florida all of my life and I want to get an idea of what else the US has to offer. I’m open to almost anything, though I would really like to spend some time in an urban setting. Not sure if I will like it, but there’s only one way to find out, right?

3. Grad school is not an option right now. I don’t know what I would study, so there is no point in going into debt for a degree I may never even use. I will go to grad school, just not in the next year.

4. If I have a nervous breakdown, you can find me on the Appalachian Trail. It’s what I will do if nothing else comes along (though I highly doubt NOTHING will come along)

That’s pretty much it. Nothing specific or life-changing. In fact, it freaks me out a bit when I start thinking about specific scenarios regarding my life post- PC, even though I know that come August 22nd (my birthday and coincidentally the last day of our COS conference where we get the details about the steps we need to take to conclude our time here as a PCV) I will have to start to think hard about where to go from here.

Once again, cue the stress.

But you know me, I can’t complain. In this kind of work, when isn’t it time to cue the stress?

É normal.